Jamzy...?
Mweh. *pokes at AIM*
Oh loves, where are ya? Wanted to talk to ya.

Well,
got some results from my interview the other day. Looks like the best possible position right now would be "Apprentice Public Safety Telecommunicator". Geh, that's a mouthful. I wonder what they do.

In any case, I need to up my WPM--I really have no idea what it is right now, but the requirement is 35. On a computer, I can go pretty fast, so that's a good sign (and lots of my AIMers whine that I type too much too fast, so that too could be a good sign...or the whole lot of you could just be really really lazy :p). I once took a typewriting class, which is a lot slower than a computer for me, somehow.

Need to contact my contact tonight about 8ish and see what he needs me to do. Anything that'll get me out of that almost God-forsaken Chili's would be wonderful.

Two sides to every coin
Case in point, my current job.

Chili's, as a whole, is spending the entire month of September raising money for the St. Jude's Hospital, which takes care of and finds ways to help children with cancer. I've decided to give a dollar for every day I'm at work. It's a worthy cause.

My particular store, however, is in need of nothing short of a spectacular miracle...or at least a new management team. Lemme just list it all, old and new:

--Servers are forbidden to transfer to the new Chili's for the first month it is open, by orders of our Area Director. After the first month was over, the A.D. lifted the restriction; however, management here has forbidden anyone to transfer to any Chili's.
--Though meaning to do the right thing, new management bought new equipment that cost the old management their yearly bonuses.
--Trainees are getting shorted heavily on training. As a result, many do not know how to close the store. Knowledge has been lacking, as well.
--Supplies run short on a constant basis, and we are forever borrowing/buying from other stores.
--Scheduling is terrible. Requests are ignored, and impossible doubles without breaks coupled with training make for irritable servers. Training schedules are made at the last possible minute, and half the time, the trainer doesn't even know s/he is training.
--We've been shorted a manager recently, and will remain so for another 3 months until the next M-I-T steps in. We already have one as it is, and he's on the brink of being fired as well.
--No one's being held responsible for anything.
--Very few of us are actually making money. Management cuts too many too early. Customers are also rather unhappy, because, more and more, they are emitting an aura of not really being cared for when they have a problem.
--Anyone who puts in a two weeks notice is fired within three days, no matter who they are. As a result, servers quit the day before they leave, screwing with the schedules. (And the way it's going, I'm unforunately am going to have to go the "quit-the-day-before-I-leave" route. I loathe to do it, but I refuse to have an undeserved firing on my record.)

Just today, I was told to train. The problem is, the trainee was also--ready for this?--already working as the hostess. I gently but firmly told management that I did not agree with this method at all. My concern was laughed off.
Bull-f'ing-s.
You cannot learn while you're busy working in another area. I don't care how much money it's saving management, it's not right. It's going to take longer for the trainee to catch up, since she isn't being allowed to focus on one thing at a time. It's no wonder we haven't had any spectacular servers in a while, and as a result, it's no wonder our business is dropping.

There was also the unfortunate case of a server going home in furious tears today. She was making good money and management cut her way too early.
"I can't do this, Ginny," she cried, "I'm already behind on my bills from last month and they keep doing this to me!"
Which is stupid because other servers are upset that management is making them work too much, or being forced into overtime, which management screams about, since it costs them money. I know management has a hard time doing everything, but for goodness sake, it can't be that hard to solve the problem.

I'm extremely disappointed in management. I told Honeycutt today that, although the guys are decent enough in personal ways, they are the worst management team I have ever had. They're too busy covering their own butts and making themselves look good to even think to treat their servers like real people.
And if they don't watch it, they're gonna fall flat on their faces with no servers, no business, and no store.

I dedicate this post to B-Baka
*points at her* I knew it, I KNEW IT!
*stops drawing attention to herself and grins sheepishly* Hunter x Hunter and Naruto. I've already done a few comparisons between the two, and I'll bet you'll come to the same conclusions. HxH is likeable (and with me on ep57 as of last night, it's finally getting fully and 1oo% likeable), but Naruto will always reign supreme...till something else knocks it off its high perch. (It's been done. ^_^)

Quite frankly, HxH #1 made almost absolutely no sense. I believe it was a poor idea for them to take the key episode that introduces viewers to the show, and instead spend it bouncing around between flashbacks and very minor characters. I was confused, annoyed, and very put out.
But I kept going.

Just in case you're interested (and no, these aren't spoilers), the four main characters are Gon (you've met), Leorio (he looks and acts like a cross between Vash and Wolfwood), Kurapica (blonde kid with blue eyes), and Killua (purple-white haired kid).

The first major arc is fun to watch, the second dragged and a lot of people tend to stop watching during it (I stopped, then went back), the 3rd arc is my brother's favorite, but I found it rather eh, and the arc I'm currently in is supposedly the final, and it's the BEST, so far.

The animation style looks rather outdated, I agree--and half the time I almost didn't want to watch simply for that fact. Right around the 5os, however, the style cleans up and looks much better.

I'll tell you what RJ told me, though--this is not a kiddie show. There is blood, there is violence, and there's even some gore as early as the first story arc. Which also perturbed me, as it seemed out of place with the animation and the general story at the time. However, it works for where I'm at.

Now onto Naruto: you miss this, and you'll regret it.
(But don't they say that ignorance is bliss? How can you miss what you never had?)
:3 Just watch. I have yet to meet anyone who has walked away from this show without being impressed.
Most common phrase I used during intial watching? "Oh dude, that's AWESOME!"
And that's all I need say, because Naruto speaks for itself.

*blinks once, blinks twice* Mistress Baka, I will love you forever if what you say about the dubbing rumor is true. By Christmas? For Naruto? Please keep me informed. ^_^

By the way, today is Tuesday, not Monday. >> I'm too confused.

Delighted, I'm sure
Well, things are starting off right with the fact that I'm off today. *bounces happily*
I just got a character sketchness out and I'm pleased that it is very unmanga-ish. It still needs a little development, but very unmanga-ish, yay!
I'm about to leave for my interview, and I hope to goodness that it works out.
I train all this week, which means free food all this week. Ter-rah!

And I also paid all my bills today. Ugh. That was a lot of money I just spent in one sitting. >> However, the good news is, I accidentally discovered that I only have to pay for my car for 9 more months--then it's completely mine! Which means I won't have to lay as low, money-wise, as I thought. I'll be on my parents' insurance till my next birthday, which will be after the last car payment, so I'll just smoothly transition from one to the other.

It's only a matter of time now, it's only a matter of time. *barely contained squeal of happy glee*

And the meaning of life is.........
OK, this is going to sound cliché. Maybe even a bit corny. But it's ever so true, at least for me.

The meaning of life is love.

In this world (and especially in America), we're too caught up with stuff. Of being rich and famous. Of basically trying to show we're better than others.
That just leaves you empty, though.
(And don't tell me you actually like being empty. It's beyond my comprehension.)

Grant me just a little bit a dramatic something or other here, but I just keep falling in love with Jamal each day. It's like I keep re-realizing it for the first time.

Remember how I said that God and Jamal are the two most important beings in my life right now? It's because they love me as a person in my own right and on my own standing, not because of how many people know who I am, or because of what I have, or because of what they think they can get out of me.
I fiercely implore my Lord to keep away anyone who'd dare to maliciously damage those two relationships. Not so much that I'm afraid of what those "anyones" would do to me, but rather, what I'd do to them.
*closes eyes thoughtfully* I'm an ugly and out of control creature when I'm angry. And I don't like it when I'm like that, because I want to believe that my life is built on love.

Forget the mountain climbing to the ancient gurus. ^^; Ginny's version of the Meaning of Life is right here on the Net. Heh.

Squirrel Fishing and Peep Research
God, what a hilarious world.

Then again, I'm using Japanese, just like about a million other people.
I just noticed that three of the blogs I just visited feature l337 speak in their titles or subtitles.
*stares at the three of you*
Weirdos. Freaking unoriginal weirdos. :p
And I mean that in the most loving way possible. Hee hee.

Squee!
Baka-chan, that was an amazing Yuna cosplay! If I ever had the guts to go as Auron again, we'd make a fab team...assuming you weren't taller than me. ^^; And then I'd talk Jamal into being Kimahri, on the basis that, instead of tall, dark, and handsome, he'd be tall, blue, and furry.

There was something about anthro-mutants in my dreams last night, and Jamal again, too. Yay, my dreams are taking a turn for the better...and rather story inspiring, too.

What the heck is a Vulcan Cannon?

If you were on a battlefield right now, versus everything...
Name
Gender	MaleFemaleAnimalUnsureRather Not Say
Age
Lover or a Fighter?
Fight for good or evil?	For GoodFor EvilFor Neither
Battle Cry
Weapon of Choice	Vulcan Cannon
Appearance	Naked, flying using telekenetic powers
Your Battle Cry...	Incites laughter
Foes slain upon first strike: - 65%
What you fight	Everything in sight
You fight....	Because you do what you must
This quiz by Ferggs - Taken 52468 Times.

Work felt
ever so delightful today. Nothing quite like working through your problems.
I mean, granted, the problems are still there and waiting to be solved, but somehow, I feel better for just being able to throw myself into my work and not be bothered by home stuff.

Heh, I had a customer leave me a business card that said if I ever wanted a job, to call. o_o; I also had a group of females at one table hitting on poor Keenan. Not to mention I made above average tip wise again. :D

Mmm, do I get upset too much or often, you think? I'm hoping things'll look up once I'm on my own and dependant on me. Money'll be tight then, but things aren't nearly as good as people. (The world focuses way too much on what you have and what you look like on the outside, not who you are. Bleh.)

Waiting for the home life to get better. Just a matter of time....mweh.

Reaching a Fever Pitch
It's raining. Rain isn't normally depressing. It seems so today. I hope it rains all day without end.

Thursday night, Mom and I were able to talk for a full hour. Last night, we barely got past 3 minutes, and already there was that air of disappointment, of "no, Ginny, you're never going to make it on your own, so why bother?"
In a bad sitation, there are two options: fight or flight. I'm very bad about standing up for myself, so, as usual, I retreated to my room.
A common joke between the managers and myself at work is me talking about how great I am. The truth is, I can feel my self-confidence being picked away at a little more each day. One of these days, I'm so afraid that I'll end up believing that I don't have the ability to take care of myself.

Thankfully, those thoughts finally stopped whirling around my head about 1:3o in the morning. About 3 hours later, I woke up to the sound of my parents fighting.
I don't care what anyone says about every relationship needing a fight now and again; it can't be any fun for the fighters and for those left listening in silence. And it was supposed to be their anniversary, too... I felt something disagree with my stomach at that point, and I fought to keep it down, just so they wouldn't know I was awake. I wish God had made me a heavy sleeper.

I dreamed just long enough to see Jamal, and to see that same peace and freedom and unhaughty self-proudness I feel when I'm around him. It's not the alarm's fault for waking me up to go to work. I can escape for a little bit...

Y'know, it's seriously unfair. Yesterday started out decent enough, went on fantastically, then, right as it wrapped up, turned ugly. As I laid there this morning, stuffing my pillow over my head to drown out the sounds, I realized something: this isn't my life anymore. It probably hasn't been for the past 6 months. I'm not supposed to still be living at home, working at Chili's. I'm supposed to be living somewhere else, working somewhere else, and I am angry at myself for not working harder and faster on resolving those issues.

The worst of all of it is, the longer I sit and wait, the more upset I get, and the harder it is to avoid affecting those I love around me. I seriously hope I haven't been upsetting anyone, and if I have, I'm sorry. Words of comfort are great, but this time, I know I have to fix it on my own. If I want to prove I can do it on my own, I'm going to have to prove it on my own.

Thank you to everyone who have believed in me, who have continued to believe in me. Thank you for being nonjudgemental and patient with me when I accidentally am. Thank you for letting me make my own choices, complete with a loving kick when I should know better, and a gentle hug when you understand. Just...y'know...thank you for being there.

(...I always feel better when I type away stuff like this. Matters not if people read, but it's enough for me to get it out. Bottled up inside is the most unhealthiest place for it to be, I've been told.)

~Spiritual "Craziness" ahead: read at your risk~

...please, Father, please don't tell Your Child to be patient. Please be Your will that she's been tested enough, and grant her that her spirit will be preserved as she moves forward in life. Give her just a tiny sliver of divine strength, just enough to keep her going till she can fulfill her promise of "on my own".
Don't let her forget Your love.
Amen.

This
is officially one of the more disturbing things I have ever seen in my life.
Excuse me while I go cry now (and curse for having let someone beat me to it ^_~).

"The Night Mare galloped away, but her dark eyes promised a return one day."
All I remember about my dream was being in my old neighborhood, and houses kept collapsing inward. I escaped just before mine did, but some older blonde guy I didn't like too much was still in the house when it fell.
Weird.

I figured out why I've been out of it lately--I'm finally cutting my fourth wisdom tooth, as it were. And it hurts. Bleck. >> But it's almost grown through.

Quiet morning, so I'll leave it at that.

Wow,
I am capable of intelligent conversation. *blink blink* Colored me surprised. ^^

A truth that has been reiterated today for me is that life's got a purpose. Yes, EVERYONE's life. I've talked with depressed people, and, Hades, I've been a depressed person (and what an ugly time that was--I never want to go back to that if it's in my power to avoid). For the sake of argument, I don't care who you are and what you've been through (ack! just a phrase there, I actually really do, promise!), you have a purpose. Your life means something, even if you don't know it.

For me, I think that my purpose is to love the people God has given me. I used to be hung up on wanting to be famous or popular or rich or whathaveyou, but honestly, all that is fleeting. It's actually a lot of trouble to be any of those things, too troublesome for me. ^_^;
So yeah, love, with some joy and a little faith in others, and who knows what else. I'm still discovering an awful lot, even though I'm supposed to be an adult now. *stifled giggle* Riiiiight.

I just want the people around me to be happy. A simple purpose for a simple creature. (A complicated person like me tends to make it a complicated purpose, but ah well...heh.)

No matter who you are or what you think I think about you, I care. I really do.

G'night.

Ok, seriously, enough already!
Had yet another carnage filled nightmare last night. Some dinosaurs, but mostly a heaping handful of prehistoric crocs chasing down two boatloads of people. No one could go ashore because the dinos would get them. No one could swim for it because the instant any appendage got near the water--CHOMP.
Bleck.

So for the past 2o hours, I've been between sleep and wakefulness. Mostly just sleep. Both Mom and a co-worker named Suzi offered me medicine that they swore up and down would knock me out in 15 minutes. Considering that they are both pretty tough women, I figured I'd be out in nothing flat.
HA.
Both took at least an hour to kick in. The Benadryl (sp?) took my whole body by storm, while whatever Mom gave me did this weird creeping thing from my feet up. My legs got heavy, then my arms, and then I finally dragged myself off to bed, and probably passed out, who knows? The only thing that made me feel better was seeing Jamal last night--for as long as I was able to stay awake, I admit. XP

I blame having nightmares on not feeling well. I dunno if I ever take them seriously, but it's strange that almost the same thing seems to keep happening in them. Eh. *shrug*

Not completely back up to full perkiness, but I feel a lot better today than I did yesterday, thank goodness. I still feel like sleeping a bit, but I've also had so much sleep that I really shouldn't need anymore for another day or two. Besides, it's time to go to work.

Be healthy!

The greatest proof for me that my Lord and Savior exists?
My beloved.
'Tis enough for this simple creature.


Ok,
so the day started out with another messed up dream. It was a young girl on a bike, and she was racing past this giant chain link fence. There's a T.Rex right behind her, and it looks as though they are happily working out together.
Until the girl's ?mother and ?younger sister ride up on a second bike. Turns out that Rex is tied up with a large blue gauze wrap, and he's just chasing after the girl to eat her. As soon as the second bike shows up, the girl panics, trying to distract Rex, but he breaks out of the gauze and chases the second bike.
Then he's in the water, pulling on the end vehicle of a whole string of vehicles that were out to go boating. There's an old granny lady in a small golf car (right behind the first vehicle Rex is chewing on) and she's flashing her member's car at Rex, screaming how he can't eat her, she's a regular!
Riiiiiiight. Anyways, Rex is pulling on the rope that's tied all the vehicles together, so Screaming Granny gets closer to his jaws--
--and Ginny's awake. Bleck, so much carnage in dreamage lately. >>

Let the "boasting" begin.
Recieved my 2oth Manager-Recognized Customer Compliment yesterday. Which equates to 2o ChiliHead pins. I never wear them anymore (too many of them), but at least I can impress future bosses with them.
And my 4th year anniversary with Chili's is tomorrow. Um...*shakes a tiny rattle*...whee.

And yeah, I modeled last night, and yeah, the pics come out next week. Fortunately, there was at least 2o models up there, because I've decided I despise makeup and all the ignorant giggly girl crap that goes with it. >> I never liked those kind of girls back in high school, and here I was in a room full of them. Mweh.
After all the makeup was put on, I remember looking in the mirror. "Oh my fudge," I thought-muttered, "I look like a drug addict. Or something else." I didn't tell any one else that, though.
Foundation/base I don't have a problem with--I put it on every day. I might start using mascara, just to bring out my eyes, (I did like the mascara, I'll say that much), but the dreaded raccoon eyes are always a scary thought. Moreso since I smudge makeup so easily.
Eh, maybe I'll leave the dark eyelashes to Jamal. And wow, are they ever so gorgeously dark. Seriously. I mean...*puuuurr*

*intermission*

~One Hour Later~
Oh right, I was writing this! Oopsa. Got sidetracked. ^_~
I got two sorta-commissions. One is a girl at work who wants to expand her tattoo, as it were. The other is a lady up at church who wants her children's book to be illustrated. I'm really looking forward to both.
I don't really have anything else to say. Everything's been shaping up nicely, so:

A/C and classical instrumentalism are conducive to intellectual stimulation. So learn at least one new thing today.

Lots of stuff going on today,
but first--

*bellow* MY KINGDOM FOR A FREAKIN' LOZENGE!
*falls on bean bag chair*
Mweh, my throat was getting sore yesterday and I had hoped it would be better when I woke up. Guess not. I also slept for 11 hours last night, which is very unusual for me (and the dreams that dwelt down those long halls of the night...also very bizarre (quite frankly, too bizarre to warrant posting)). But sleeping helped my eyes to stop hurting.
(Didn't do anything for the whining, heh.)

So Mom wants me to take a day off of work to go meet with one of her co-workers about this potential job offer he found for me. I just took off for my birthday, and taking another day off is really going to hurt my money flow, but if it gets me a better job, I'm for it. However, as much as I love my mom, if this job thingy doesn't pan out either, then I'm going to have every right to do things my way from now on.
Fortunately for the whole lot of us, my darling little Jackee is ready to pick up a shift for me. We figured the sooner I leave, the sooner she could take my schedule, heh. (And the sooner the customers will stop saying, "Hey, you're not Ginny!" >_>) So now we wait.

Tonight I'm going to be a model. As soon as the pictures come out next week, I'll put them up, promise.

And a minor longing popped back up last night. My current congregation no longer has enough people to continue the children's ministry, so I don't get to play Theo the dog puppet anymore. =(
I was doing a forced clean last night (result of that shampooing bit) and found one of Dad's service folders sitting around (he still goes to our other church). I flipped through casually, and saw a note about Caraway St. needing volunteers so they could be full time again. Anotherwords, they are strong enough to exist, but they want to have a greater impact, so they need help.
Mom would give me no rest if she knew I even went near the old church again. And there's no way to sneak around her (besides, that's just a little rude, and would entail a greater uglier fit if I somehow sneaker for a while and then she found out).
Is it wrong for me to say I only want to go back to be in Caraway St again? I have my reasons for leaving that church, I still stand by them, and I'm not about --

Ouch.
Heaven-sent answers poke like a stick to the stomach when it's an answer you don't want.
>>

...but...
...but I still want to do something with puppets and children. (Not full-time teach them, God forbid (and I mean that!) no!)

Mrrhmm...my brain just deadlined from those last few lines and refuses to say anymore, so rejoice and be free! (Long post, sorry. ^^)

Try something new today, and don't worry about the opinion of those that don't have a great influence in your life.

By the way,
DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) is fun...when no one else is watching, that is. :p
Still getting a grip on the basics, including wearing some sort of footwear, since being barefoot causes the pad to stick to my feet and slow me up. For now I'm working with my fuzzy slippers and they're doing a decent job.
My biggest problem is getting that friggin' back arrow--I don't think I reach far back enough for it, but eh. I'm also a tad out of shape =^^= (I just did three or four sets of three, and I'm a little sticky myself), but I'm gonna work at it.

So yes, DDR is fun, but for right now, if you catch me at it, LOOK AWAY! Pretend the wall is fascinating or something. My tender little dignity demands it. ;)

You ever have
one of those nightmares that wakes you up and you just don't want to go back to sleep? Yeah, that would be me about an hour ago. Still up, and still very much so blurry eyed. XP

I think part of it is that Mom decided to shampoo all the carpets this weekend and waited till the last minute to tell me to clean up my room so she could shampoo it. I was tired and just ready to go to bed, but I cleaned anyway, piling everything on my bed (there was nowhere else to put it all!). I ended up sleeping on a partially wet and sticky floor last night. *growls*

As far as the dream thing goes, there was something about it being a really bad horror movie with Britney Spears (BS--which is only appropriate, as I cannot stand her) as the perfect-English-speaking Arctic native.
It starts with my walking group and me leaving the woodsy trail for the day, except the woods turn into an icy wasteland. Some boar-type animal grumbles about having to attack us, then jumps in the air and comes back down as a giant white baboon. Enter BS with a spear; she proceeds to impale the baboon, then warns us (again, mustn't forget the perfect English part and bad acting to boot, heh) to leave before we are killed.

Well now BS is part of a dancing crew, married, and is keeping (against everyone else's protests) a tiger-raptor crossbreed cub. She's at a club, dressed in red sequins, and gets up to sing, telling her female manager it's her last night she'll perform. The song sounds strangely like Baha Men's "Best Years of Our Life", with her twirling large batons (they were supposed to be on fire on either end, but something got goofed).

During the routine part where she hip wiggles at an old geezer, the lights go out and there's a lot of screams. Lights come back on, and BS' husband is gone. BS races over to check on the tiger-raptor cub and these black claws suddenly explode out of her chest as the cub fades into view. It just stabbed her in the back. Then the cub turns to me, although I'm just supposed to be someone watching the movie. The cub looks an awful lot like a real-life version of Jamzy, but to see my character act like this is just not right at all. He extends his black claws, races at me, fades from view as he gets closer--

And Ginny's awake.

Have a less than terrifying day.

Unanswerable by fallible human understanding

Three and a half years ago, a happy couple, bound yet freed by a promise they gave to each other, raced from the little white building. The rice bounced off her flowing veil and dotted his brown hair. Others joyously watched the beginning of a lifelong union.
The Lord smiled from above: "I love you, My children."

The months flew past. The couple loved each other and wanted another to share their happiness with. However, despite their efforts, no child appeared. After the third miscarriage, it seemed impossible. Unable to do any more, the doctors moved on to their next time slots, and the couple quietly left the sterile white building.
The Lord sighed from above: "I love you, My children."

About three weeks ago, a small church family learned this couple that they cared for were finally granted a child. The people of the little white building bowed as one, thanking their Creator for bestowing deserved happiness to the couple.
The Lord rejoiced from above: "I love you, My children."

This past Thursday night, the father stood on dampened steps outside the sterile white building. His fist, watered by the rain streaming down, pounded against the lifeless marble. His lowered face was wet for another reason. He did not curse God, but demanded to know why it happened. Why his only child died a week after she was born.
The congregation of the sterile white building can offer no answers, only muted apologies.
The congregation of the small white building can offer no answers, only soft weeping.
The Lord whispered from above: "I still love you, My children."

Fiddling with links.
And watching another storm roll up.
*loud thunderclap*
O_o; At least it won't be unbearably hot today.

"If humans evolved from monkeys, then why do we still have monkeys?" ~Anon.

I'm not feeling terribly moved in the thoughtful, literary way this morning, so have a dry day.

Happy Birthday to Me!
Woooochachachacha!

...um, I'm older now. Does that mean I'm supposed to be more dignified?

==> "You have to grow older. You don't have to grow up."

All righty then! Life's good so far, and the best part is being off today. Second is that it's raining--very awesome. Want to send an e-thank you to Des for dedicating that midi--too sweet.

The thing about "To Far Away Times"--it was the closing theme to "ChronoTrigger", which was the game I have loved, =^^=;, insomuch as that it was my first RPG, just about my first videogame, period, and I have literally judged every game I have ever gotten by "ChronoTrigger" standards. "To Far Away Times" has a gentle, "everything is going to be just fine now" kind of feel to it, really relaxing. Thanks again, Des-kun.

Now I shall scurry off the computer--it's already blixxed once and it might do it again.

Random Train of Thought
Penguins aliens birthday Debbie Desbreko midi birthday-again snow chaingun neon-green golf toe customers rolling-down-a-hill money house move-out job money-again wall snow-again (O_o too many agains) Haku Naruto anime Vash Kakashi Auron scars wonking-huge-swords Godzilla Dave-Barry Olympics swimming gold coffin face-huggers Petten Blue-Eyes-Shining-Dragon (glee!) and birthday for the third time so we'll stop there.

It's a crazy world inside a brain. ^^

All righty, so two days more till I'm old and decrepit. I was delighted to discover that Debbie's birthday is three days after mine. The bartender on Saturday had asked us how old we were going to be.
"We're both going to be 21," I promptly replied. Debbie thought that was so amusing.

Speaking of the only manager I've ever known to be into LotR, YuGiOh, and so many other ...um, 'nerd?' things... she went poof. As in up and quit. Without saying anything to anyone, except for her boss George.
And this is the only reason I don't like having a day off--things change so quickly in the course of one day. Beh. So, for the umpteenth time, we're back down to three managers, which means they're going to be more disorganized than ever. Oy.

My car also died yesterday. But then it was fixed. No problem there, just a minor panic, because nothing is worse than being deprived of something you take for granted every day.

Speaking of which, I better say right now that I am very thankful for all my friends, co-workers, and family. E-person, you say? Choose your group, then (*watches one of you smarties take the "co-worker" group* Des, QUIT that! ^^). If I'm not too tired, I promise to show up on AIM tonight. (I've got a half-finished Kakashi fanart that is screaming to be finished anyhow. :p)

May all your money be genuine and all your human encounters amusing. ^_~

Religious Myth #219
The Sabbath day is always Sunday.

Heh, not true. One of my former pastors told me that the Sabbath is observed each week when you take a break from your normal routine and just rest. I just happen to have my on Sundays. ^_~ I'm recharging, and almost starting to feel like my old self again, yay.

Naruto #95 and #96
#95 was ok, but...
*screams herself silly, hoarse, and all other manners of excitement*
#96 WAS TOO FREAKING AWESOME!!! MAAAAAAAAN!
Jamsy's gonna love Manda, heh.

Hunter x Hunter
Bleck. Was there ever a more boring story arc? RJ told me that everyone else that has watched that series always paused for a while during that arc, and I was no exception. It had potential but it never took off.
RJ also promises that it'll get better. Meh. S'nice, but I still love my "Naruto". ^.^

All I need (in reference to joblife)
is God and Jamal. The rest of the world can go (busy itself elsewhere).

(~EDIT 11:45pm) I deleted a big chunk of post that went here, because it was a result of extreme anger untempered by wisdom, patience, or maturity.(/~EDIT)

*sighs heavily* Man, but I've got a lot of anger tumbling around right now, and for that, I sincerely apologize, everyone. A lot of it seems to be the job thing and being screwed over when I was so close to my goal, so I guess I'm just spazzing under pressure. As soon as my birthday goes by, I'm redoubling my search for a (hopefully) better future.

*half smile* When you're at the bottom, there's only one way to go: up. Here's to climbing.

Ginny, by Cliff's Notes
~Job~
So yesterday, I did twice what I normally did in sales. How much did I make tipwise? o% How many times can you say you are terribly unhappy? I mean, seriously, why pour yourself into your work if no one's going to acknowledge it?
I love my servers, I like my managers, the money could be better, but the customers are going to see what they were taking for granted when I leave. I hate feeling that way, but there it is.

~Home~
My mom is really upsetting me. When I got home, she showed up shortly after me. She then proceeds to gripe that Jamal's coming over; when I tell her about my tip problem, she tells me to basically get over myself because I'm just a ToGo person; when I let slip that I forgot to pick my check up, she totally chews on my butt.
Dad stood up for me, for which I'm eternally grateful. He told her that, even if I am just a ToGo person, people should leave something on a $2oo order; I tossed in that I can just as easily pick my check up today as I could yesterday because I'm not hurting for money, so what's the big deal?
And at that point, the same "tired-of-fighting-you-every-single-freakin'-day" feeling came back, so I just went upstairs.
What really sucks is that Mom and I used to be so close, but now...I'm just not comfortable around her anymore.

~Ginny~
My determination to find a full time job and move out has grown again, thank goodness.

Meanwhile, we have secured a copy of a Naruto fighting game. My original intent was to train on random, and become good at every character. I've managed to become decent at Sharingan Kakashi, though that isn't going to stop me from learning everyone. My brother's got a strange attraction for Sakura, though he switches around as well; Jamal picked up on Haku, which is only annoying because S.Kakashi can't copy his special. Blurg. Why am I not surprised? ^_^

My previous weakness in fighting games was not being able to defend. I'm getting a better handle on that, but now I need to get my brain to wrap around the combo concept. It wasn't terribly prevelent in SSM that I can see, so it's a new skill to learn. Since I have the easiest time pulling off combos with S.Kakashi, that makes him my favorite currently (though regular Kakashi with "1ooo Years of Pain" would have been fun too, mwee hee). But I'm still a button masher right now. Which means I need to practice more. Ah well.

~Today~
Work. Whee. Birthday's on Thursday, and once I breeze past that, I'm ready to go all out on the full time job concept. I'll have free time to give, and it's time to show certain people that I can take care of myself, I can think for myself, and dammit, if you don't like that I'm no longer being your spineless doormat anymore, then PFFFT.
(Oh, that was mature. Heh.)

Rant over. Anger (hopefully) released. More talking to God needed--my practice with patience has sorta splurted uselessly. >>

Need to write,
just suffering from a major lack of motivation right now. Story of my life, really.

Oh well, at least I have a few ideas for some new "Naruto" fanart. One might even be of Orochimaru...we'll see. *waits for episode #95 and #96*

Night.

Nothing much to say
except that I enjoyed my day off. ^^ My brother's got me watching "Hunter x Hunter", and although the first episode was, forgive me but 'struth, crappy, the series as a whole is redeeming itself, slowly but surely. Gon, Leorio, Kurapica, and Killua--even though the story is mweh, the characters are a lot of fun.

RJ tells me this series came out before "Naruto" and probably influenced it. On the one hand, I agree, but on the other, if you realize just how many animes there are out there, you can't help but notice just how many borderline each other. Kurapica's crimson eyes and Sasuke's Sharingan bear the closest resemblance--even though the two do not have similar abilities (got me what the heck Kurapica's eyes do when they're red except make him really strong), it's because of those eyes that both characters are where they are at.

I would say the Hunter Exam and the Chuunin Exam are too close as well, but again, plenty of animes have tests that determine the best person of a class (for crying out loud, look at "Pokémon"!).

As it rests, "Naruto" is still my favorite with "Hunter x Hunter" in second place. Which now begs the question, which is more important--story or character? Is it because of the characters that the story happen, or does the unfolding of the story shape the characters? Can both happen at the same time? I feel that, not only as a story listener but a story teller as well, I need to figure this out, if only to improve my own ability at telling stories. (As it stands, I'm better at developing character than I am telling a concise plot, but I'm working on that. Especially since I like to describe my original art as art that tells a story--that's my kind of art.)

*blinks slowly* Am I thinking too deep again? Heh.

Yet another update

I'm picking up speed on this one, and having a background, albeit a monochrome one, really helps. The picture's finally coming together.

Meanwhile,
it is/was Adrian and Matt's last day to work.
I'm sorry to see Adrian go, but he needs to go back to school and he wants to be a professional football player. He can make it--he's got the muscles for it. Plus, he's just a real sweetheart, and I hope he can pull his dream off.
*waves at Matt* Buh-bye, you perv.

And Shannon's gonna be a daddy. O_O;;;;;;;;;;
I just...whoa. I mean...geez.
World just totally tilted on its edge on that one.

Frustrated

Another update on the pic I've been working on. This one's taking longer than the others I've been doing. It's that -bad word- jacket, I swear it is--I hate those pockets!
I've already started the shading on the scroll, but it's far from done, and I still need to figure out what lettering I want on it. And I still have yet to decide what the background is going to be, bleh.

Speaking of frustrating, Mom just told me that the store she's been conditioning me for all this time is only looking for part time help. That's just great. Now I need to think up an emergency plan. (I wish I had been told about this sooner, like maybe three or four months ago. Or at least left myself open for more than just the one place.)

Off tomorrow, whee! Lots I need to do, but regardless, off tomorrow, WHEE! ^_^

Creativity strikes late tonight
but at least it hit. Another Kakashi image, heh.



Inspired by the scene in the Country of the Wave arc when he summons his "cute ninja dogs" (which, by the way, are far from). I'm debating if I want to include the blood or not. In any case, I need to include the lettering on the scroll, for which I'm kicking myself for not drawing directly on there. >.< It'll get done. It always does. ^^

What I find amusing is that, every time I get ahold of an animated character I really like, I go into drawing fits like this, and always, I promise you, always pick up a new art technique that serves me in the future. It started at drawing, moved on to coloring, added shadows, moved into computer art, PhotoShop, highlights and shadows, and now, *purr*, some of the best stuff I've ever done. I'm sure that if I had the mind to, I could make original art benefitting from my newest method. I tend to be stubborn in that respect, though--Kakashi now, Ginny-characters later.

You know what's really really awesome, though? I haven't been this passionate about my art in quite some time--a few months, really. It's to the point where I can't wait to wake up in the morning so I can work on my latest piece, and I'll gladly put aside nearly everything else I'm doing just to work on said piece. Bliss. ^_^

But I need sleep. O_o; Double tomorrow. OFF FRIDAY! WOOT!

...and mwee, I still miss my Jamsy. I can't wait to show him what I've been up to, even if it isn't exactly what he expects (yeah, oops, methinks I sorta blew my homework project).

*bangs head on computer desk*
Sorry, everyone, what with joining DeviantArt yesterday, my time's been sucked away. I haven't even really been reading up on my webcomics, and that's something I never skip.
It's just so easy to get lost in all the artistic-y goodness of DeviantArt, though, seriously, it is. I've been getting a constant feed of inspiration and support, and it's just been incredible!

I need to catch up on everything, though, like, I dunno, maybe paying my car bill?! Heh, I'll get to that and looking for my apartment and whatnot. ^_~ But I seriously cannot wait to move out--my family is driving me bonkers. >.< Now if I'd just get off my lazy toosh and get out there and actually get an apartment, heh.

Dang, they can tell...
Y'know, even with a two-week-overdue injection of Starbucks Mocha Cappu-whatsit, people still remarked on me looking...well, maybe not mopey, just...eh....
It's day 6, people, leave me alone. This'll be a record breaker of Jamal and me being apart, but even with the excitement of breaking a record (*points to self* Ego Girl, rememeber me? heh), I can't help feeling a little lonely.
Um, I'm getting a lot of fanart and new techniques done.

...mwee...it's just not as fun right now, 'cause I can't show any of it to him.

Don't worry, everyone, I'm fine, just a little muted.

*totters off to make yet another Kakashi fanart*

Ginny's
been DeviantArt'd! FINALLY! I'll get a link to it soon.

*runs around in happy little circles*

Finished Picture


*runs off to plan her next great piece of art* Hades, I'm actually liking what I'm producing. I'm happy. ^^

I still need to do my comic page homework, though. Oo;

First day of August!
SHWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEET! 18 more days till my birthday. ^^

I've been trying so hard
to draw my comic, or anything decent, really, I have. I have a nice pile of crumpled paper to prove it. Well, here's what I finally ended up with: Kakashi and Akamaru, two of my absolute, all time favorite characters.



Inked, coloring over this coming week. I need to try to do that one comic page again--I sorta like how it's coming and I sorta don't. But I love the concept of not having to use every single inch of the page. ^^

UPDATE ON ABOVE before I quit for the night.