Friends
And friends are friends forever,
If the Lord's the Lord of them.
And a friend will not say never,
'Cause the welcome will not end.
Though it's hard to let you go,
In the Father's hands we know:
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends. (Smitty)
And people wonder what why I'm a Christian. *points* It's not just about Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but it's about love. He's about Love, because He
is Love. Jesus knows what it's like to lose friends, temporarily...or forever. And no amount of grief us faulty little humans pretend could possibly ever hope to match the grief He feels when He knows He's lost someone forever.
I keep hoping someone will say, "Ha ha, it's all a joke, Ginny, Ron's not really transferring" or, "Oh, it's just like last time. He'll be gone for two weeks, tops, then he'll be back."
But I know he won't.
I don't blame him. Ron's really seemed irritable (more so than his usual self) and unhappy the past few months. Several servers assured me that it was just his time to go, that he'll be happier. I know. It doesn't make it hurt any less.
It's so funny...I just got from the store, picking up a Thank You card and an envelope to put the original Rondomon pic in, and guess what was playing on the radio? "Friends", by Smitty. Call coincidence if you want, but my luck is so terrible with them that I don't bother. God was telling me something. He was promising me that, even if I never see Ron again in this life, there's always the life after. I know it's none of my business to know where everyone else is going after this life, but somehow...somehow I just
know that foul mouthed, short tempered, pain in the arse will be cheerfully stomping around in the afterlife. I just know it.
And people wonder what why I'm a Christian.
This life is only temporary. It means very little. It is only a daydream and one day we will wake back up into the real life. But some of us never will...and it hurts my heart to know that. There's just so much more to my faith than rules...there's Love. Not the nasty sexual kind. Not the puppy love. But the real, deep, "I will give my life for you" Love. It's indescribable.
Give 'em hell wherever you go, Rondo--and may God bless you while you're doing so.
The Final Goodbye: Prelude
One week ago, Ron had announced to everyone about his leaving at the meeting. After the meeting, I had sat by myself, trying to hold back tears, and he plopped himself in the seat across from me. I pretended to be really busy drawing Zidane pics for the FF:S comic.
He stole my paper and pencil, despite my glaring. Started to draw antennaes on the first pic of Zidane.
"What are you doing?" I demanded to know.
"Drawing," he said absently.
"I can see that." I tried to take the paper back and he shot a Look at me.
"Making your stuff look better," he continued. (When he was a lot younger, he wanted to be an artist. Did a bunch of Planet of the Apes fanstuff.) He was darkening Zidane's hair. Now he was drawing triangles around Zidane's shoulders.
I was lost for words. Here I was trying not to cry and trying to find words to let him know that he meant a lot to me, and I was going to really miss him, and all I could manage was:
"What are those? Mountains? Pfft."
"They're
wings," he corrected me. I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "No, really, they are! ...ok, no, they aren't. I dunno what they are." He threw the pencil down and rubbed his eyes with both hands. I knew what that meant, so I just sorta half smiled.
(Mom told me I didn't have words, because teasing each other meanly was our way of talking to each other; and we knew what we were really saying to each other. Makes sense.)
Final Goodbye: Last Shift...
I remember feeling a jolt when I saw him today. Wasn't quite sure what to do--maybe I felt guilty for not saying anything the last time. It was hard to make up for it when I hadn't seen him, though. He had been working all night shifts this week.
Prestige Ford, my big order regulars, placed a big order today. I got to work on that, keeping my mind on my work. Still trying to think of something to say. Spotted Ron out of the corner of my eye, and decided to see how much time I have left.
"So, you work tomorrow?" I asked casually, staring at the burger sitting in front of me.
"No, not really. Off tomorrow."
My heart just about broke right then.
"Do you work Saturday or Sunday?" he asked.
I shook my head numbly. Of all the days to have a Saturday off...and I didn't work Sundays. Period.
"Aww," he teased, "so this is our last shift together." He was trying really hard to be light hearted.
I
glared at the burger. If it weren't already dead, it would have been. I could tell he saw that, because his voice suddenly dropped the teasing tone and he stepped next to me.
"Well, listen, darlin', I just want you to know that it's been a real pleasure working with you, ok? I want to thank you for everything you have done these past three years--"
I just wanted to sock him right in his big fat stomach at that point. The stupid idiot was not acting like himself. He had remembered that my three year was coming up in two weeks. Worst of all, he was admitting to leaving. It was like he was admitting to giving up.
"--just keep up that good work, and you'll go far. I know you w--"
"Ron," I suddenly broke in, looking at him eye to eye for the first time, my eyes just
brimming with tears. "Please...please stop, shut up, whatever. Please just save it for after the shift or I'm just gonna be bawling and I'll be no good for my shift."
I would have never spoken up like that before. Manager fear would have kept my mouth shut. But I had to speak up--it was the truth. And he knew it. He laughed real soft like, nodded. "OK, darlin'..." He was remembering both incidents about my uncle and my mom.
I threw an used napkin away, missed the trashcan.
"OH!" he said, immediately back in teasing mode, "Oh what was
that? C'MON!"
I laughed in spite of myself, and I think it made it just a little easier to work today.
I purposedly fumbled about when I was cut for the day, so I could turn my money in to Ron. He took the money drawer real quiet like, wouldn't look at me. I picked up the sign out board and followed him.
"What?" he grumbled when he saw I was following him.
"Sign me out, please?"
"Yeah, yeah..."
We piddled about for a second, talking about something else, I forgot what. All I know was my brain screaming
Now! Now! Tell him you care now or you'll never get another chance! Don't let this go Auron-ish!
"So you aren't working Saturday
or Sunday?" he suddenly asked. I blinked.
"No..."
"You mean you won't even come by on those days to see me?"
"I have other stuff." The hell of it was, I do. Stuff that had been planned for this weekend long before I had known about Ron's leaving. And I
hated that stuff now. "I have something for you, but I left it at home. I'll just bring it up tomorrow and leave it for you, ok?"
"I'd rather you brought it by yourself, but ok..." The computer in front of him was in danger of being glared to death now.
"Well, I'd better..." I was about to leave but my brain said,
NOW DUMMY!
Next thing I knew, I was hugging Ron's neck, on the verge of just bawling. (I'm still surprised I did.) "Thank you," I whispered. I wanted to say so much more, but you know how your voice gets where, if you say more words, you'll just cry uncontrollably and no one will understand your words anyway? Yeah, it was like that.
Ron just held me, let me sniffle miserably for a few seconds, then sorta sniffled himself.
"It's just..." My voice wavered but I fought really really hard to control it. "...you've always been there at the bad times, no matter what." He nodded. He remembered. He was staring at the computer again, too, hand over mouth.
"You know, darlin'," he finally said, looking at me, "I'm only going to miss four people around here. I'm proud to call you one of those four. If you ever need
anything..."
I nodded my head furiously, angry that my mouth was quivering, my eyes all wet. Ron was rubbing his eyes with his hands again, and I decided to leave before either of us got embarrassed by being emotional.
I made it about a block away from Chili's before I finally broke down and just sobbed my heart out.
And friends are friends forever,
If the Lord's the Lord of them.
And a friend will not say never,
'Cause the welcome will not end.
Though it's hard to let you go,
In the Father's hands we know:
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends.
