Ginny Blurbish at the End
(edit--whoa, who knew? Sara's got this on her MyO right now! O_O)

Missing Person (Smitty aka Michael W. Smith)

Another question in me. One for the powers that be
It's got me thrown and so I put on my poker face
And try to figure it out. This undeniable doubt
A common occurrence. Feeling so out of place

Guarded and cynical now, can't help but wondering how
My heart evolved into a rock beating inside of me
So I reel such a stoic ordeal--where's that feeling that I don't feel?

There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace, he disappeared into the void and
I've been searchin' for that missing person

Under a lavender moon, so many thoughts consume me.
Who dimmed that glowing light that once burned so bright in me?
Is this a radical phase, a problematical age
That keeps me running from all that I used to be?

Is there a way to return, is there a way to unlearn,
That carnal knowledge that's chipping away at my soul?
I've been gone too long will I ever find my way home?

There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace, he disappeared into the void and
I've been searchin' for that missing person
He used to want to try to walk the strait and narrow
He had a fire and he could feel it in the marrow
It's been a long time and I haven't seen him lately but
I've been searchin' for that missing person

This. This is my haunting beautiful song I've missed. I had one of those days when I put aside my vast collection of CDs on the way to work and just listened to my station. After Amy Grant's "For the Children", this one came on.
Don't get me wrong--I'm not feeling any doubt about my faith right now. Usually, I'll toss a song up there because I am having a problem. Not this time. I just really like this song. And Smitty is always awesome. Period.

(*makes a mental note to get more CDs*)

Problematic
I have a dear friend up at work--her name's Kelly--and her health is, well, giving out. She's diabetic, the really nasty version (there's type A and B, I believe, and she's got the worst of the worst), and the doctors aren't having any luck at all.

The latest was a self-giving insulin machine in her body, but the problem is, the machine cannot tell when Kelly's had enough, so it keeps giving her more. Too little or too much insulin is dangerous, and she's looking pretty awful.

Last night, she actually had to leave work early, she felt so sick. I love her dearly, too; she's the no-nonsense older woman at work, and I've always looked up to her, even if I disagreed with her. She always encourages me to disagree too, especially if I really do. Which is why this seems so rough--if she had it her way, I know she wouldn't be affected by her diabetes at all. I haven't seen her look this bad in, well...ever. Seems a little overdramatic, yeah, but there it is.

I want to just be able to wave my hand and watch her return to her self before the diabetes went out of control. Of course, if I had that kind of power, I'd be waving it at a lot of people. Anyways, I just wish I could do something...

Rest
Ha. There's a concept I miss. The last few nights, I've been having nightmares about the people I care about being taken away from me because of something I did. I need my sleep. These doubles are draining me and they don't seem to be stopping any time soon and that leaves little time to unwind and talk to all my online peeps (how I soooo miss you and Sara I swear that letter will come to you!). I haven't drawn in the longest time, which, for me, is one of the most relaxing things I can do--I seriously have a better day after I just lose myself in doodles.

So I keep going to work drained, and my performance has already suffered (they actually had to call me at home last night and talk to me--that's a first, and I'm not as upset about that as I was last night (another reason I didn't get much sleep), but that is still horrid). And management claims they can't do anything--they're too short staffed and everyone is suffering. Gag.

Need a new job with a better schedule. Yes, money is nice, but for the infinite time, being able to use and enjoy that money is nice, too.

Smile
I'm just ranting--life really isn't all that miserable. You're just getting the part of the picture I feel like writing and--crap, is this another disclaimer that so many people have to put on their blogs?
It's not Monday anymore. And it's not Green March Day yet. So go wear anything but green! Bwee! ^_^