*swallows hard*
Why do I keep reading other people's blogs?
Seriously, every time I go to click on those links, my brain keeps saying, "Why are you doing this? You know you're just going to read something and misinterpret it as being about you, or against you, or something, when it isn't really, or it is and you just need to get over it. But you aren't listening to me, are you? Nope, you're reading and--yup. See, I told you so? Now you're going to feel miserable and do it all over again tomorrow."
And I do. Nasty cycle.
Maybe I'm hoping someone will say something about me.
I'm working really hard on getting past what other people think. I thought I was doing well. But when you read about how something you thought was true was really a lie...or said to be...or...
Oh, I just don't know anymore. I don't want it to be a lie. I don't want to interpret it as being a lie. And if it was, it was the best lie ever. I was worth something then, to someone.
I still am. No doubt. I spent all week training, and getting a good ego boost about the fact that, yes, I really do do a good job there. And vacation all this next week. I just wish I could take back what I said about the GM today. That's going to haunt me and leave a dark cloud.

...but isn't that true of all words...?

I think the words that will haunt me the most, wherever I shall go from now on, comes from someone I once called a friend. He told me I was living a double standard. What's even worse is that he's right. Or at least, that's all I can see now. *shakes head*

Forget reading blogs...why do I write in them? It always comes back to being miserable.
...why did I start this damn thing up again? Gawww....*slinks off*